Dean's Choice
by morganaDW
Summary: 1-shot. An injury & a misunderstanding causes Dean to face that some choices might not be in Sam's best interest. His hesitance in resuming the other side of their lives due to Ezekiel's presence causes Sam to doubt things & as Sam's health suffers Dean must make another choice. *Limp/bruised!Sam & Worried/concerned/protective!Dean* Ezekiel cameo. (Dean/Sam) Wincest.


**Dean's Choice**

**Summary: **_1-shot. An injury & a misunderstanding causes Dean to face that some choices might not be in Sam's best interest. His hesitance in resuming the other side of their lives due to Ezekiel's presence causes Sam to doubt things & as Sam's health suffers Dean must make another choice. *Limp/bruised!Sam & Worried/concerned/protective!Dean* Ezekiel cameo. (Dean/Sam) Wincest._

**Warnings: **_Language as always. Also warnings for the usual explicit Wincest stuff._

**Pairings: **_Dean and Sam._

**Spoilers/Tags: **_No real spoilers for the recent episode. I figure it took place between 09x02 Devil May Care and 09x03 I'm No Angel._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. This is written for the enjoyment of fans._

**Author Note: **_It's not easy doing Wincest with Zeke in the background let me tell you. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. To get updates, news or chat PM me for the link to my Facebook page and look for more stories soon._

**~SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN~**

"Damn it! I thought you said you were feeling better than you have in years. I knew you should've just stayed back at the bunker this hunt and let me salt and burn the little old lady with a penchant for pinching younger men."

Carefully easing the arm of his gasping younger brother from around his neck as he lowered Sam to the queen size bed farthest from the door in the motel he'd just booked them into, Dean Winchester was silently snarling at more than just the feisty white haired old spirit that had managed to slam his brother down a flight of spiral stairs.

He was also snarling at the angel currently residing secretly in his brother's body because Ezekiel was supposed to be healing Sam.

Right now Sam didn't look so healed and he also didn't appear to be doing as good as he had been the last week or so since waking up.

"You…you needed backup and I can still handle myself with a ghost," Sam was in pain but most of it was coming from more than the bruises and cuts he'd gained from falling.

His heart was hurt but he knew he couldn't admit that to Dean since his brother had clearly made up his mind about things and despite what Dean had said back in the Church, Sam was now certain that while his brother might still feel responsible for him as the older brother the other side of what they'd had was gone.

Sam had hoped with his recovery from whatever the trials had done to him that Dean would soon want to renew the more physical, not so brotherly side of things between them.

The younger Winchester had grudgingly accepted that his too protective brother had slowed things done between them toward the end due to Sam's weakness and illness and since Dean was clearly still in the manic over protective older brother state of mind Sam had decided to give it some time.

It had been over a week since the Church and he'd been hoping for some sign or action from his brother to signal it was safe to resume their activities since Sam would admit to himself that he missed his brother's simple touches or gestures that had become Dean's way of expressing love and emotion to Sam.

Sam had picked up on the odd uneasiness from Dean on the few times when the younger man would brush against him or lean closer to him; all things once familiar and treasured now made the older man standoffish and uneasy.

At first Sam had tried to convince himself that it was still the stress of everything that had happened and was still happening but the night before the little old lady spirit case had come up and Sam had finally worked up the guts to kiss Dean for the first time in over a month and his brother actually nudged him away gave all the answers he needed.

He'd stopped the trials because he believed in his brother's words. He believed in what Dean had said to him. He had allowed himself to believe that Dean meant what he said about not putting anyone above him again and made the mistake of allowing himself to also believe that meant his brother still loved him in that other way that neither usually spoke about aloud but had always felt for one another.

Realizing that maybe things had changed too much between them or that Dean didn't want him like that anymore made Sam wonder if giving in still might not be a good idea.

Dean would never walk away from him if Sam was still there because he was still too much older brother to ever do that and so Sam had to wonder now as he winced in pain if his sudden weakness, if the burst of pain he'd felt before being hit by the ghost hadn't been caused by the hurt in his heart at losing his brother again.

It had also hurt him that Dean didn't think he could just tell him face to face that he no longer loved him in that way.

Now he was trying not to let his brother see the internal pain while he had to admit that the damn little old lady had really given him some bruises and probably a few cracked ribs…and a possible concussion if the sudden spinning in his head was any indication.

"I'm not saying you can't handle a ghost. I'm saying that you should still be taking it easy and…hey, you…_sonuvabitch_!" Dean made a lunge to pull the wastebasket over before Sam nearly pitched forward to puke. "Sam? Sammy!"

The panic was plain in the deep gruff voice but it was hard for Sam to hear past the roaring in his ears. He could feel the arm wrapping around him to keep him from falling off the bed but before he could will himself the strength to turn into Dean's arms he knew he was blacking out and couldn't help the brief burst of fear that maybe he was dying.

"Sammy!" Dean felt the change come over Sam when he felt the younger man shift from nearly boneless as whatever was wrong was taking him out to the sudden rigidness that always came when Ezekiel assumed control. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded, easing away but fighting the urge to jerk when an oddly strong hand gripped his wrist and glowing blue eyes lifted to stare at him until the power eased back to show hazel eyes. "You said he was healing."

The angel that had come in response to Dean's open prayer had been silently considering the inner change in Sam since the other night and also the odd feelings and thoughts of his new host in regards to his older brother.

Ezekiel had been on Earth before so he wasn't fully unaware of the odd feelings and emotions of humans but it was the first time that he'd entered a vessel as strong as Sam Winchester to feel the strength of the love and desire that burned in this young man.

It had confused him at first since he had to admit to being affected by Sam's feelings for his brother but as he considered it now he also understood that it was more than just love in a physical or sexual way that Sam felt but a deeper bond that Ezekiel had rarely felt in any mortal through his years of existence.

Now he could also finally say that he understood why no matter how much he healed his host the boy was getting worse.

"He loves you."

Dean blinked at the simple words spoken in the usual clipped tone that he'd just come to accept was Zeke's tone when in controlling Sam's body.

It was still weird to think of anyone else inside his little brother and if he were to be honest with himself it was Zeke's possession of Sam that was keeping him from giving into the burning need and desire he felt to have Sam back in bed, to be able to touch and kiss his brother like he'd grown used to doing.

He'd sensed and known of Sam's longing to return to how they were and Dean wanted it but it creeped him out to know Zeke was inside Sam watching and in some way experiencing what his brother felt and he just hadn't been able to return Sam's show of affection the other night.

Of course Dean had felt and caught the quick flash of confused hurt that passed over Sam's face when he pulled away and feared what his brother might be thinking but it was impossible to explain why he couldn't return Sam's kiss or take him to bed like he knew the younger man wanted since he couldn't tell him about the Angel in the background.

"I know he does," he muttered, hoping the Angel meant the basic kind of love brothers normally but the moment that head cocked like it did when Zeke was curious told him that he was becoming aware of the one side to his life with Sam that very few people, especially people with wings, were supposed to know about. "Huh."

"Sam believes you do not care about him other than for duty and obligation as his brother. He believes you know longer desire him sexually…does it upset you that he feels this way or that I said it?" Ezekiel asked after Dean stopped choking. "I picked up his desire for you even before I entered him, Dean. I also could see a deeper kind of emotion for him when I touched you to let you see his thoughts."

Ezekiel looked down at the array of blooming bruises along Sam's side and chest where he'd landed on the steps before glancing up into deep green eyes. "When we spoke the day I saved him from those demons and you told me that you didn't do the love thing, I told you that it was the reason I said yes. I think he failed to understand that I was referring to the fact that Sam said yes out of love.

"He agreed to stay out of his love for you in all ways. He loves you as his older brother. He looks up to you still as his brother and will always have need of your support but there is so much more inside him that I'm not sure you are fully aware of.

"Sam also loves you, desires you and feels things for you like he has no one else in his short life," the Angel watched the change flicker through Dean's eyes, wondering if the hunter was aware of how his grip on Sam's hand had shifted to hold; fingers laced with palms meeting. "I also said yes to helping you save Sam because of the love and loyalty I could sense between the two of you."

A little uneasy with this conversation, Dean coughed but didn't move his hand once he saw how he'd shifted his grip. "You can see from his thoughts that we've…" he gestured with his other hand, blowing out a disgusted breath when an eyebrow merely rose. "Damn it, Zeke. Help me out here."

"Sex is not something my kind usually does or knows about though it's not forbidden like it once was," Ezekiel had to hide a small smile as Dean groaned. "Balthazar especially was fond of bringing it up at the worst times so I know of the concept. You and Sam are my first experience with seeing it firsthand but I gather from your hesitance the other night that it's my presence that's bothering you now."

"That's putting it mildly," Dean muttered, standing up to move toward the first aid kit to get what he knew he'd need to help his brother. "It's kind of beyond weird for me to want to be able to toss Sam's ass on a bed knowing you're inside his head but…" he paused with a sigh. "It bothers me to think of someone watching him because Sammy's a private person and while I don't go in for peeping Toms or Zekes as the case is now it's hard to do what I want…what I know he wants while knowing you're in there watching him or feeling what he…"

Watching the hunter shudder at the thought, Ezekiel finally nodded. "Sam's condition is getting worse since he believes he's not wanted. To help him, you must choose to open yourself back up to him in that way. You must choose to show him that he is still loved and desired. You must give him a reason again to wish to hang on and then my powers will once again take over the healing.

"As for your concerns, if it would make you feel more at ease I can ease myself back to the farthest fringes of Sam's mind during the moments the two of you are intimate," Ezekiel missed the flush of red that crept up Dean's neck at his words. "You do still want Sam in this manner, don't you?"

Just being close to Sam in a motel room, near a bed was enough to make Dean nearly hard enough that even a blind Angel could see the erection that was making his jeans a little tight so the question caused an eyeroll that Dean knew would mimic the one his little brother was fond of giving at times.

"If you hadn't been close to the surface the other night when he kissed me I would've showed him just how much I still wanted him, Zeke," Dean groaned at the thought of Sam thinking he wasn't wanted. "Back the hell off now so I can get him patched up and see if I can convince him that I'm not just telling him what he wants to hear."

Nodding slightly, Ezekiel eased back and only Dean's quick lunge toward the bed kept Sam from falling forward off the bed.

"Damn it, Sammy," he muttered, laying his brother back on the bed to clean and cover any bruise or cut that needed tending and then sat back to watch Sam sleep.

It had been Dean's choice to pull back from their other side of life when it got to be too much on Sam. It had been his choice to keep his over emotional little brother at an arm's distance now. And it would be his choice to face loving and showing Sam he was loved despite the secret between them.

Taking the time while Sam was sleeping, at least Dean prayed it was sleep and nothing more serious, he got Sam out of his jacket, shirts and jeans but only slipped him back into a pair of loose sweats to sleep in.

Smiling a little as he heard the small moan escape as his fingers stroked lovingly up Sam's inner thigh, Dean stuck his tongue in his cheek to hold back his own sounds as he noticed his brother's body reacting to the touch but pulled back.

Ever since they first faced the mutual desire and longing Dean had made certain to never let anything happen between them if either one of them was hurt, doped up on pain pills, drunk or asleep.

While he might have accepted having sex with Sam the older brother side still had rules he followed no matter how much he longed to touch. "Baby boy, that damn old woman had better not have scrambled that big brain too much because I really don't think either one of us could stand a trip to the ER right now," he mumbled, leaning down to just barely brush his lips across Sam's face and tasted the tears he hadn't realized his brother had shed. "I'll make this better, Sammy."

The low sound of the TV caught Sam's attention since it seemed to echo in his head but before he could groan or move to cover his head the volume cut off with the click of a remote and a hand lightly touched his face.

"Tell me if you're in enough pain to want a trip to an ER or if you're going to throw up again," Dean urged from beside him, keeping his touch light as it stroked over Sam's face; relieved to find the low grade fever gone.

A little surprised to feel his brother beside him, Sam worked to open his eyes slowly and again felt surprise to see the thin line of more than usual five o'clock shadow that meant Dean hadn't shaved.

"How…long?" he asked after a couple tries, gratefully accepting the straw that was placed by his lips to sip icy water. "What happened?"

"You passed out fourteen hours ago and I was about ready to say the hell with it and drag your ass to the hospital even though your pupils didn't look concussed," Dean was glad his hands no longer shook as he set the bottle of water aside to focus on his brother.

Carefully touching his head, Sam winced at the low ache but didn't feel sick like he had and some of the pain had lessened. "Sorry," he mumbled, attempting to move to sit up only to feel a firm hand lay flat against his chest. "Dean?"

"You scared me, Sammy," Dean admitted quietly, refusing to admit how much now that he had huge puppy dog hazel eyes staring up at him. "Both now and when I saw you get tossed down those damn stairs. I barely got you back the last time in the Church and I don't want to lose you over some stupid granny ghost or my own fears."

"I don't under…" Sam began to say only to stop as the touch on his chest shifted from Dean's usual touch to something more intense; his pulse skipping a few beats at the feel of calloused fingers stroking across to find his nipple. "I…you…the other night…"

Gentle lips closed over his to cut the halting words off with a tender kiss that stayed soft and didn't heat but still managed to make Sam groan, mouth opening under his brother's for Dean's tongue to enter and explore.

"The other night I knew what you wanted, little brother. I wanted it too but…I didn't want to push things too far too fast and…I don't want to hurt you if things get too rough," Dean told him seriously, lips and tongue soothing over Sam's jaw to his neck to find the hollow of his throat to tease.

"I've been sitting here beside you reminding myself not to touch but it's been so damn hard since it's also been too damn long and I'm not going to sit here and lie by saying that I don't want you right fucking now, Sam," his mouth locked onto the jumping pulse point as Sam's fingers worked up from the bed to find the bottom of Dean's black t-shirt and slipped under it to feel hot skin. "Tell me right now how you feel and be honest with me."

Sam's blood pressure was soaring and he knew if he said he felt sick or in pain that Dean would stop. He didn't want his brother to stop and was so glad that he didn't feel like he had when he went to sleep.

"My ribs and side hurts but…I'm good otherwise," he replied, gasping at the feel of Dean's hands roaming over his chest and the blanket vanishing. "You still want…mmmh."

This kiss was searing as Dean's tongue plunged in deep to cut the question off, fingers playing with the hardening little nub on Sam's chest until his brother was moaning into his mouth, his body shifting as need built in Sam for more.

It had been over a month, nearly two, since they'd done more than casual fooling around or the occasional hand or blow job so to feel Dean's body pressing against him now, Sam was certain he'd explode before long.

"I never said I didn't want you, baby boy," Dean told him, sucking on Sam's bottom lip to watch the younger man's eyes close on a moan of pleasure. "Wanting you is like breathing to me. It's second nature and I'll always do it," he eased up to quickly pull his t-shirt over his head and also caught the heat that passed through Sam's darkening eyes as lust hit hard and both brother knew this time wouldn't be slow.

"Dean…I…God, want you so much," Sam gasped, trying to get his hands on any part of his brother but feeling frustrated when Dean moved out of reach to stand beside the bed to slowly shed the jeans. "Fuck!"

"That's what I plan to do if you lose those sweats and roll over," Dean smiled, a little surprised to not feel a little awkward considering that he knew Ezekiel was still inside his brother.

Sam was still feeling stiff and couldn't move quite as quickly as he would've liked but still managed to get the loose sweats and boxers down his legs, covering a groan as his cock twitched at the feel of a hand smoothing over his back as he rolled onto his stomach while hoping he didn't come just from that alone.

"Wait," Dean's slight frown concerned Sam but nowhere close to the near panic felt as his brother's hand landed on his shoulder to urge him onto his side. "You can't lay on your stomach with bruised or cracked ribs. Your breathing changed the moment you went flat."

The pain was more severe but Sam was willing to endure anything if it just meant he could feel Dean's touch. "I can get on my knees or…" he groaned but this time in pain as a finger touched his side where he'd connected with the bottom step after his fall. "Dean, please. I'll be alright but I…I need you inside me again. I've missed you and…"

"Shh, I'm going to give you what you want, Sammy," Dean assured him, kissing Sam again slowly, deeply until the younger man was shivering with need. "Trust me, baby boy?"

The rarely used nickname except when it was just the two of them like this never failed to heat Sam's blood. "Yes," he groaned against Dean's hot mouth, arching into the light touch as his brother's fingers teased up the underside of his very sensitive, hard and already leaking cock. "Dean, I…please."

The last word was whisper soft as Sam's lashes lowered, a little embarrassed that his body was already strung so tightly that he could've climaxed just by Dean's mouth licking along his jawline and the feel of fingers teasing his cock.

"I know," Dean murmured, giving another kiss to soothe before slipping behind Sam on the bed to keep his back to the door and the other bed while feeling the shudder go through his brother as his knee nudged between Sam's legs. "Remember the last time we shared a bed? Back in that one ratty motel the year you were sixteen?"

His nerves were already humming, Sam bit his lip to muffle the sounds he wanted to make at both the feel of Dean's hard body pressing against him from behind and also the memory his brother clearly knew Sam would never forget.

"Two bedrooms but Dad took the one and the other only had one bed so you said you'd sleep on the sofa," Sam nodded, relaxing back into Dean's hand as the one slid around to rub lightly across his chest while the other opened the tube of lubricant the younger Winchester knew his brother usually had access to. "Dad and I were fighting."

"Yeah and that day had been especially bad. You were upset and one more jab away from really getting in his face," Dean could recall vividly the screaming that had been happening that day between brother and father and how close he'd come a few times to snapping on their Dad for baiting Sam into a fight. "I knew you wouldn't sleep…at least not alone. Do you remember what I did that night, little brother?"

The cool lube over the crease of his ass made Sam jump but the fingers teasing over his rock hard nipples soon had his mind off of that and then mind and body went into overdrive at the feel of a finger lightly probing to find the rim of his hole.

"This…you did this," Sam gasped, body fighting not to move as Dean pressed against him, his knee nudged up just enough to touch his balls but not enough that Sam's cock could find much friction. "Dean, get in me. Please, wanna come and wanna feel…"

Carefully working his index finger around the rim of the tight puckered entrance, Dean's eyes closed as his own cock hardened from the touch of tight heat closing on his finger and the low moans coming from Sam as his little brother's body worked to rub against Dean's knee.

It would've been so easy for him to just slide into Sam but after so long the older brother knew Sam needed some prep and stretching which was also something Dean always took care to do usually.

"Remember how I waited until Dad had passed out then I slipped into bed with you? Remember how tense you were until I started kissing your neck?" Dean's lips trailed wet kisses along Sam's shoulders even as his finger worked slowly past the first ring of muscle. "Remember what I said to you, Sammy?"

"Hmm, you…you said to stay still and let you take care of me," Sam whimpered, feeling the finger get past the second ring and nearly lost it at the first light brush over his prostate. "Dean!"

Chuckling lowly, Dean's teeth raked over the side of Sam's long neck before moving the fingers of his free hand up the heaving chest to press against lips that opened eagerly as Sam welcomed the two digits with tongue and lips ready to suck.

"I also had you suck my fingers to keep you quiet as I worked you open to take me…just like you're going to do now," he licked up behind Sam's ear since he knew that was one of his little brother's more sensitive spots. "You're going to suck my fingers like you were sucking my cock, Sammy. That's my boy."

It was hard to focus on what he was doing as a second finger joined his first to being to scissor Sam open but always touched the one spot that would make him move and groan while Sam was groaning as he suckled Dean's fingers hotly.

Sam closed his eyes as he worked on sucking on the three fingers in his mouth, his tongue licking around, in between and wherever his could touch until he heard his brother's groan of desire.

The fingers opening him stayed steady but Sam knew when Dean's willpower was becoming strained because he felt the hard and dripping cock pressing against the crease of his ass even as the fingers worked to pleasure and prep him.

He wanted to speak, to say he was fine and to just get it the hell over with because Sam's cock needed friction and more than that, he needed to feel Dean's cock buried in his ass and against his prostate before he came but he knew better than to try.

Sam also knew to trust his brother, relaxing fully back against him to soon feel a loss as the fingers were removed only to be replaced with the familiar feeling of the mushroom head of Dean's cock.

"You okay?" Dean asked as he began to insert the head of his cock into the now stretched and ready hole, feeling Sam leaning back more to try to urge him on and shuddering himself as a tongue licked the webbing between his fingers. "Wanna come, Sam?"

Using his teeth to lightly rake over the fingers in his mouth, Sam groaned when he felt Dean's hips ease back only to surge forward in a smooth steady motion that put him in about halfway and his head fell back.

It had never felt weird or unnatural to Sam to have his brother's cock in his ass. He knew in some way it should but it had actually always seemed natural to him.

Even this time his body recognized the touch of Dean's hand as well as the length and size of his fully hard and ready cock as it sank in fully with only a couple more teasing thrusts and then Sam was gasping with want and begging for Dean to do more as the fingers left his mouth to slide wetly over his chest to down where they could wrap around his own cock much like his brother had done one night so long ago.

"Tell me what you want, Sammy," Dean whispered against his ear, running his tongue around the shell of Sam's ear as he pressed his body tighter against Sam's. "Tell me what you want me to do to you now that I'm inside you."

"Fuck me," Sam moaned, gasping when long fingers stroked his shaft from base to tip a few times and he knew it wouldn't take long to bring him off. "Dean, c'mon. I wanna feel you come inside me before I…Oh!"

A roll of Dean's hips took his buried cock right up against Sam's prostate to make the younger man cry out as pleasure surged through him, making him shift his body back for more while the hand stroking him slipped back to play with balls that were tightening up as Sam verged on climaxing.

"Missed this, little brother. Missed you," Dean groaned, never getting enough of the feel of Sam's muscles clamping around his cock as his brother's body worked with the intense pleasure and he could feel the change when it happened. "Come now, Sam. Come with my dick in your ass and my hand on your cock and…" he paused to sink his teeth lightly into the exposed neck to mark it enough but not draw blood. "…and my mark on your skin."

The deep husky pure sex voice that Dean could drop into easily always turned Sam on and this time was no different but the feel of his brother's cock moving over his prostate while his hands were on Sam in other ways pushed him to the edge.

It was the final words, whispered against his ear as a tongue slid over his skin that pushed him over and Sam felt his orgasm hit with Dean's name spilling from his lips but then his whole body was surging with pleasure and emotion that he hadn't felt in almost two months.

Dean felt the orgasm hit when Sam's inner muscles clamped down on his cock but he held back his own climax to wrap his free arm around his brother's chest while continuing to stroke Sam's cock as white stripes of come shot over his hand to cover it and Sam's stomach.

"I've got you, Sammy," he assured his brother as Sam rocked against him, body milking the orgasm for all it was worth and only once Dean knew Sam was coming down from the awesome high did he give in and allowed his own to hit.

"Dean…God!" Sam had just been adjusting to the feelings coursing through him when he felt Dean's arm tighten around him and groaned as the cock buried in his ass began to thrust a little harder to counter the rush of Dean's own climax and felt the welcome warmth of come filling him.

Placing a hand over the one Dean still had stroking him gently and carefully as his cock was over sensitive now, Sam slid his over hand back to try to reach his brother's hip to form some type of contact, smiling as lips ran over his neck to his shoulder.

For a few minutes the room was silent except for the sounds of flesh meeting flesh and low moans and gasps of mutual pleasure and then there was pure silence as both brothers were lost in their own thoughts and emotions.

"Thank you," Dean was the first to speak, not easing away from Sam as he might have once even though he knew he needed to clean them both up and get Sam into the other bed to sleep soon.

This wasn't the first time an orgasm after sex with Sam rocked him since it always seemed to be better between them and he wasn't certain if he was thanking his brother for trusting him to do this again or if he was thanking the silent Angel that had stepped carefully back to give them as much privacy as possible under the circumstances.

All Dean knew as he laid still with Sam curled against him, his softening shaft still connecting them, was that he was thankful for this moment and would do his best to never allow Sam to think he wasn't wanted in any way in Dean's life.

"Nah, other way around," Sam mumbled, body relaxed now from sex and as always afterward he just wanted to roll into Dean's arms to sleep but a small piece of him was still hesitant to do that. "Tired."

"I know," Dean smiled, smoothing a kiss over Sam's neck while easing out of him; his hand rubbing lightly over his brother's hip as he heard a grumbled complaint at the loss. "C'mon, little brother. Let's get you over on my bed to sleep."

Sam yawned but tried to help the move, half asleep from earlier in the day to what just happened and only half awake enough to feel the warmth of the cloth that cleaned him up before his sweats were slipped back on him. "De'n?"

The casual drop of a letter in his name didn't concern Dean too much as he quickly wiped off, dressed in a pair of sleep pants before easing into the bed to allow Sam to move into his arms like he almost always seemed to do.

The first time they'd made love and Sam had fallen to sleep with his head on Dean's shoulder and his palm resting over his heart Dean had made the usual noise about chick flick moments and cuddling.

It had taken only three times before he realized that he needed the quiet time, the feel and warmth of his brother beside him as much as Sam seemed to and now he didn't comment. He just quietly laid still to allow Sam to find whatever spot, be it shoulder or chest, to lay his head and would wait until Sam was fully asleep before he dozed off.

"Yeah?" this night he suspected he may stay awake a little longer if only to watch Sam sleep so he could reassure him that his brother was safe.

Lifting his head to meet Dean's calm green eyes, Sam smiled fully; the smile that included the dimples that rarely showed these days. "I…I love you," he rushed the words since he understood that deep emotion still made his brother a little uncomfortable. "Umm, g'night."

"Look at me, Sam," Dean's hand curved under Sam's jaw to lift his head back to eye level, a small lump in his throat at the raw emotion that was present now. "You know that no matter what else we do or how some people see us that I will always be your big brother and will always have your back, no matter what," he began seriously, smoothing his thumb over Sam's cheek to see the slight surprise reflected there but also the words that Sam would always be too scared of speaking.

"You and I will be brothers for as long as we're alive and I'll always do what I have to in order to keep you safe but I also need you to know that I'll always also be your partner, your best friend and your lover for as long as you want it," he pressed gentle lips against Sam's in a slow kiss that Dean knew his brother enjoyed as much as he did even though neither would admit it.

Carding his fingers back through Sam's hair that he even stopped complaining was too long, Dean smiled in full real smile, the one only his brother usually got to see. "Regardless of how bad things get or anything, I will always have your back," he promised deeply while silently hoping Sam could still see it that way when or if he ever learned the truth about his recovery.

"I know you will, Dean," Sam smiled, leaning up to offer a kiss that showed his exhaustion and then he settled back down. "I'll have your back too," he assured his brother, settling in to sleep after feeling the strength of the arm that wrapped around his shoulders. "Night?"

"Night, Sam," Dean waited until Sam relaxed fully into sleep before letting the mask fall a little, a frown forming while his fingers stroked through dark soft hair. "It'll all be good, little brother. All of it."

Dean debated on staying awake or sleeping but his body took that choice away as his heavy eyes closed and could only hope he could keep the promises he made to Sam this time and that Ezekiel kept all of his because angel blades and sigils weren't all the tricks Dean had up his sleeve if the Angel in question turned out to be more than he said he was or if he ever put Sam at risk.

"Love you, Sammy," he whispered before drifting off fully, content that for the moment they were both safe and on the same page.

**The End**


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